a little rollercoaster ride

So just to catch you up on the working situation, I interviewed for and was offered the part time job in YV research department. After a long discussion with Josh, I decided to turn it down. Josh pointed out that I wouldn’t even be considering that job if it were anywhere other than YV and he didn’t feel I would be happy doing it. Immediately following that, my dream position came open. I was convinced it was meant to be. I contacted their recruiting department and the guy I talked to was very enthusiastic about submitting my resume for the Placement Specialist position. Although I was still nervous about leaving my babies, I felt much better about doing it for this job. I never even got a phone call. The position is no longer available. I am more than qualified for that position. I keep telling myself that the recruiting guy must have forgotten to submit my resume. He told me he wasn’t near his computer but wrote down my information and said he would take care of it. But, I can’t help but wonder if someone just thought I wasn’t right. That would break my heart. I really really wanted that job. I am beyond qualified for that job. On some level I know that I wasn’t even 100% sure if this was right for our family. But I just can’t get over the fact that I didn’t even get a phone call. What’s up with that? I’m just so frustrated. My mom says that it was probably meant to be and that this probably wasn’t the right time for me. She may be right. But, I still wish I could’ve had the chance to decide that for myself. Whatever. I know I just need to get over all of this. After Josh and I decided that I should turn down the research position, we decided that I should get involved with mentoring at YV. I would really love doing that. We both think mentoring would be better use of my time and talent than making phone calls for the research department. When we made that decision, I was really excited about getting involved as a mentor. Now I feel like I have to settle for that. I really can’t see anything I could have done to improve my chances of getting that position. Maybe it really was just meant to be.

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