what’s meant to be will be

…and I really believe that. That’s why I’m not sure why I got so emotionally caught up in all that job stuff. I really do want to work at YV one day, but the key phrase is ONE DAY. I think I just got caught up in all the excitement of the possibility of a new adventure. If I needed or even really wanted a job it would be one thing, but the fact is I don’t. This opportunity just came along. This either wasn’t the right opportunity or it’s not the right time. I got so sidetracked that I lost sight of how lucky I am. I am so blessed to be able to stay home with my babies. I love being able to be wholeheartedly devoted to my family. I love having the luxury of being able to put my families needs first. It works really well for us. And, while I’m sure we could make it work if I did accept a job, I think my being at home is what’s truly best for us. Some days are long and some days are frustrating. Some days I even loose sight of who I really am because I’m always so focused on the three boys that make my world go ’round. But, all of those things disappear in light of what I’m doing for my family. It’s just like that blog I posted a while back about building great cathedrals. It’s totally true. I don’t need to be in the limelight. While I would like a little more positive feedback, I don’t need a paycheck to remind me that the work I’m doing is important. That being said, I don’t think it’s healthy to loose one’s identity, especially by being consumed by other’s needs. To ensure that won’t be the case, we’re getting a family membership at the YMCA downtown when we move next month. I can go to Yoga classes (which I’m super pumped about b/c the DVDs don’t quite cut it) or workout or whatever while the boys are in the nursery. I’m considering joining the moms-n-tots group at church for some mommy networking. Josh has really been encouraging me not to sacrifice so much for the sake of our family. I think it’s just in the nature of women to put everyone before themselves, but Josh is helping me remember to treat myself. It may not seem like a big deal, but I bought myself the most adorable yet totally impractical sundress at Old Navy this weekend. That’s something I normally wouldn’t have done b/c that $25 could have gone to something our family needs or towards debt or savings or whatever. Josh is helping me find a balance between achieving our goals and taking care of myself. I really believe with every fiber of my being that I am the luckiest woman in the entire world. Josh works so hard for our family. He has a long commute but still comes home and plays with the boys and still makes time to continuously build me up and strengthen our relationship. I know I’m emotionally high maintenance, and I’m so grateful that he’s willing to put in so much effort. Sometimes I think, since we got married so young, its almost like we’re growing up together. We’re both still learning about ourselves and its an awesome journey to be taking together. From time to time people ask me if I regret getting pregnant with Andy, but it’s so clear to me that it was totally meant to be. My life is one million times better than I ever imagined it being, and I fully attribute that to the three amazing men with whom I share my life.

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