I would just like to inform you that I have no desire or intention of putting up with your superficial bologna. If you don’t like me, grow a pair and tell me or (here’s an ingenious idea) just don’t have anything to do with me. I don’t need you prancing around for the sake of appearances pretending to be a part of my life. I could care less about the fact that we’re “supposed” to have a relationship. I would like to think that you’re old and mature enough to live for you. It’s a little ridiculous just how much you care about what other people think. It’s got to be exhausting trying to keep everything inside and attempting to make every step fit into some socially acceptable mold. Who is it that you’re trying to impress anyway? I’m pretty sure there isn’t a person in this world who cares whether we have a relationship or not. Whose judgement do you fear so much? I am more than exhausted from this charade and I have no intentions of continuing it. I have no need to have someone so fake in my life. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe, just maybe, if we were real with each other we might actually like each other. All the resentment probably comes from all of the things left unsaid. Your pseudo-criticisms that you attempt to disguise by wrapping in the details of other peoples lives are sickening. Do you really think your not completely transparent? Why can’t you just act like an adult? Say what you have to say and allow me the opportunity to respond. That’s how a conversation works. I don’t know who you’re walking on eggshells for, but my guess is they’re not impressed. I know I’m not. I think you’re disgusting. The absolutely ridiculous part is that I have no intention of telling you this. I’ve been through it before. It will just turn into a big song and dance about how unappreciated you are and how no one ever allows you to have an opinion. NEWS FLASH: The presence of an opinion that differs from yours does not discredit or disallow your opinion. That’s the beauty of being individuals. We are all allowed to think for ourselves. We all have the opportunity to look at facts and come to our own conclusions. Oh, and get this, multiple opinions can exist in harmony. Isn’t that amazing?!?! (Just in case you can’t feel my sarcasm, I’d like to note its existence.)
There aren’t words to describe the lack of respect I have for you. Nor is there a way to explain how furious it makes me that I allow you to have such an emotional impact on my life. I have no idea why I have this innate desire to have a real relationship with you. You’ve proven time and time again that you will not allow that to ever happen. I have made a resolution, with which I have the full support of my husband. I’m not going to have anything to do with you in the future unless you can stop playing your sophomoric games. Before you get all worked up about what an ungrateful wretch I am, I would like to point out that the same applies to all the superficial relationships I have. I will no longer entertain thoughts of or allow emotional holds from anyone who can’t be real with me and accept me as I am. Shallow relationships are one thing. Not every person in your life is meant to travel to emotional depths with you. I am fully aware with that. Superficial relationships defined as those that only exist only on the surface are perfectly acceptable and often quite fun. However, superficial relationships defined by judgments hidden behind fake smiles and disapproving comments behind the other’s back are absolutely not acceptable. I have a full life and I refuse to put up with that kind of bullshit. I have no needs or desires that can be fulfilled by the way you insist on behaving. It’s not healthy, and I’m not going to do it anymore.
I get that relationships aren’t all about me. That’s not the issue. This relationship is never about me. In fact, when I do try to talk about myself, you either change the subject, get off the phone, or start criticizing everything I say. Who are you to judge me anyway? The fact is you’re no one, just like me. Everyone is on the same level and I refuse to let you belittle me any longer. If you don’t approve of my decisions, of course you can tell me that. BUT, guess what, that’s just your opinion. I am an adult and I am perfectly capable of making good decisions. I think my record will show that I’ve made more good decisions than bad decisions in my 25 years. UGH, WHATEVER! Somehow, I’m sitting here explaining myself to you AGAIN. I’m simply not going to do this anymore. I’m finished. I’m not going to have anything to do with you or your drama anymore.
All you bring to my life is feelings of inadequacy and resentment for all you put me through. I deserve more than that, especially from you. You can spend the rest of your life telling the world what an awful excuse for a human being I am for writing you off, but I don’t care. Anyone willing to judge me based on your psychotically selfish thought process, isn’t someone I’m willing to respect anyway. I’m not allowing myself to suffer at your hands any more.