Apparently, part of being pregnant in modern times is opening yourself up to constant critique from anyone you come into contact with. This disgusts me. Especially when it’s the self-proclaimed “tolerant” people passing the judgments. The very same people who claim to be open and accepting to any system of beliefs are often the quickest to share their criticisms about me. I’m not passing judgment on tolerant people. I think a lot of the world problems could be solved with a little more tolerance and respect. However, there’s a difference between being truly tolerant and calling yourself tolerant when what you really mean is, “I’m only open to ideas or customs that are modern or liberal or stem from religions found elsewhere in the world.” Present these pseudo-tolerant people with an idea or custom that is either traditional or conservative or Christian and watch their heads spin. They can’t being to fathom why anyone would embrace such values and they’re quick to tell you so. It seems to me if you’re “tolerant” you should respect what I believe and act on, whether it’s left or right or anywhere in between.
One particular situation that really irks me is when pro-choice people comment on my pregnancies. These people believe that I have a right to choose to allow the child growing in my womb to be born or choose to “terminate” him/her instead. Yet, somehow, they feel that they have a right to comment on my right to choose whether or not to conceive a child in the first place. Explain to me how an individual would find it perfectly acceptable to go with me to a clinic to end this child’s life, but the same individual finds it perfectly acceptable to ridicule my “choice” to conceive a child in the first place. Where exactly does my “right to choose” begin and end? If you’re moral stance is “it’s my body and my choice” who are you to tell me otherwise when I choose life?
It further baffles me that the same people who would welcome me with open arms if I were involved in a bisexual polygamous relationship (obviously a little dramatic, but you get the point) are so quick to shake their heads at my heterosexual procreative relationship. Why is it that some people are only willing to extend their tolerance in one direction? People have been involved in heterosexual procreative relationships since the beginning of time. More than likely, its how the very person who stands in judgment of me came to exist. Yet, as of late, that’s no longer the trendy thing to do. In fact, if I insist on being heterosexual, it’s unthinkable that I should also be willing to procreate. At least not more than 1 or 2 times. Which brings me to another favorite that I’ve heard several times lately.
“How can you possibly consider bringing another child into this world when there are so many starving children in it already?” Explain to me how this logic works? The child in my womb is not currently starving, nor will he/she be after he/she is born. Yes, many people in this world are impoverished and hungry. May I ask what you are doing to help with this problem? Does your choice to contracept somehow help feed, clothe or shelter them? I do contribute to causes that help feed, clothe, and shelter these people, but that has nothing to do with my willingness to reproduce. Those are two very separate issues. Or perhaps you’re implying that instead of having my own children, I should adopt those children? Did you ask me if I was open to adoption or did you just assume that I’m somehow too selfish to consider that? It’s funny that I’m the one who regularly passes up nights out or vacations to anywhere in favor of having and supporting a family, while you choose to do everything in your power to avoid having to sacrifice growing your shoe collection in favor of having a child. Yet, I’m the one you somehow assume is selfish. It’s been a while since my clinical psyc class, but I’m pretty sure that’s called projection. The funnier thing is I didn’t randomly walk up to you and ask why you would consider wearing a designer outfit when there are so many starving children in the world. That, however, would have been a much more logical question.