Are You Married to Your Wife or Your Video Game?

I would just like to take a minute to publicly acknowledge and praise my husband for not having a video game addiction. Thank you, Josh, not only for having a life that doesn’t revolve around the tv or computer screen, but also for valuing me and the boys enough to choose to spend your leisure time engaged with us and not merely sitting in the same room with us while you give your full attention to some race or battle or whatever else those games entail. I’m really being serious about this too.

To hear other women talk about how their husbands neglect them and their kids in favor of whatever kind of virtual reality yanks their chain just makes me sad. I’ve even heard women complain about sexually propositioning their husbands only to be turned down or at least put on hold until after the level is completed, the enemy defeated or some other “goal”. I can’t fathom that. It’s little things like this that I don’t even think to be grateful about until I hear other women talking about their situations. I can’t imagine how it must feel to be continually rejected and neglected in favor of more screen time.

I hardly see josh as it is. I assume most people live the same way. Very few couples work together or both work from home, so their time together is limited to evenings and weekends or whatever is left after work. I can’t imagine how I would feel if Josh came home from work, ate dinner, and promptly plopped himself in front of the tv or computer for the remainder of the evening. In fact, if that’s how we lived, I’d probably just go out or something after dinner. Seriously, if he’s not going to spend time with you, find someone who will. (Just to clarify, I mean your girlfriends…I’m definitely not endorsing or suggesting an affair!)

I just have to wonder what’s the deal with these guys? Most of them haven’t even been married for that long. How can they possibly be so selfish or so bored with their wives or take them for granted to such an extreme that they ignore her night after night after night?

Then, after spending the whole evening glued to the screen, hardly even aware that he has a wife, he propositions her and wonders why she’s not in the mood. Women need emotional intimacy even more than physical intimacy. I just can’t imagine how these marriages are going to make it in the long run when they lack basic communication skills and the emotional intimacy that women need.

Maybe there are wives who don’t care about their husbands’ video game addictions, but I don’t know any of them. If I did I think I’d have to ask why she doesn’t mind and why she doesn’t want to spend more time with him. It just doesn’t seem healthy.

I know how dramatically our marriage changed for the better when we got rid of the tv. I can’t imagine how much more of a change is possible for couples who not only have tv and dvds interfering in their relationship but also video games.

Life is exhausting. As a result, we found ourselves stuck in a rut of just turning on the tv in the evening and sitting together, completely worn out until bedtime. That’s not the kind of marriage I envisioned. And that’s not the kind of marriage that will carry us happily to the 50 year mark and well beyond. I think we’re on a much better track now.

Just for the record, I’m not demonizing the tv. I think tv is perfectly fine in moderation and for sporting events and other special events. I’m just saying that I don’t want it in the middle of my marriage. Nor am I willing to wait until whatever show is over to spend quality time with my hubby or have the excuse that I’m just too tired and at least we’re spending time together, even if there’s no quality to it.

You can only take something for granted for so long before you start witnessing some kind of ill effects. That’s not a gamble I’m willing to take with my marriage and I’m so very grateful to my amazing husband that he’s not either.


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