I was just reading Simcha Fisher’s newest post at the Register. She was talking about the Royal Baby, a topic I care nothing about, so I’m slightly surprised I was even reading. I’m so grateful I was reading because in the middle of a bunch of nothing I stumbled upon something I desperately needed to hear.
“When I trundled up with a giant belly and someone asked if it was my first, and I said, ‘No, it’s actually my ninth’ — they assumed I was having a baby at them. They assumed that I was trying to make a statement, or start a movement, or drive home a point, or turn the tide, or cause a ruckus, or reform the culture, or put them to shame, or something. When in fact, all I was trying to do is have a baby. Because I like babies, and they like me.”
This statement was not her intended highlight, but it definitely was for me. The reason people attack me in public is because they have already assumed I’m attacking them.
For whatever reason, I take the nasty things they say so personally. I’m so relieved to realize it’s really not about me at all. It’s about them and their own faulty assumptions. Maybe even their own guilty consciences. Whatever it’s about, it’s not about me or my sweet children.
I’m not sure that this knowledge will make it any easier to bear their insulting remarks, especially the ones that hurt my children, but I think it will make it easier for me to respond with charity. It will make it easier for me to pray for them when I walk away. And it will certainly make it easier for me to let go of their nasty remarks. I won’t have to wrestle with their words, because their words were never really about me in the first place.
Thank you, Simcha Fisher, for that brief statement about your life and your understanding of those run-ins with the bagger at the grocery store. Your words have provided me with a liberation I desperately needed! Thank you!