“You’re done now, right?”
It feels like I get asked this every time I leave my house.
I know a guy who has 10 children. He said that his response to curious folks is this: “If you had 10 million dollars and someone wanted to give you another million, wouldn’t you want it?”
That’s a cute answer.
Even though I’ve been asked hundreds of time, I never know what to say. I just smile and sheepishly say something along the lines of, “Oh, I don’t know. Guess we’ll have to wait and see…”
People always seem puzzled by my response. But it’s the truth.
When I was in high school, I used to say I wanted 5 kids. Once I had two, I decided that was crazy talk and I didn’t want any more. I obviously changed my mind at some point and had baby number 3. After my third child, I decided it might not be so bad to be completely open to whatever happened indefinitely, even if that meant we ended up with a small army. After my fourth, I was heartbroken because I thought I might like to have more kids, but could never see myself going through labor and delivery again. Now, here I am holding my precious baby number 5.
I love my family. We are perfect just the way we are. If we never had another baby, I’d be ok with that. Our home is full of love and laughter and chaos.
But every new baby multiples that. And, as they grow, they bring a new personality and a new perspective into the mix. Each child is a completely unique and unrepeatable person that we wouldn’t have the joy of knowing if we hadn’t brought them into our family. That’s why it seems crazy to me to say I’d never want to have another child.
So, now I’m going to tell you the same thing I tell the strangers in the checkout line: I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.