For the month of April I’m blogging alphabetically about quick, easy, and practical ways to relieve stress. To see the other posts in this series, click here.
I really like to be validated. Is that crazy to admit? I really like when people agree with me, say I’m right, or tell me I’m on the right track. Really, I just love being complimented in general. That might sound really vain, but, I promise you, it’s not. Or maybe it is. But I don’t mean for it to be.
I walk around all the time second guessing myself. “Am I doing enough? Did I say it right? Am I good enough?” These questions and more float through my head a million times a day. So, when someone offers me some kind of validation, I lap it up. It’s evidence that I can use to shut out all of those self-deprecating questions constantly hammering away at me.
But, the truth is, I rely too heavily on validation from others. If I’m not getting any validation, all those questions nagging away at me get even louder and more obnoxious. I start to feel like it’s true that I’m not enough, and, more than that, everyone else knows it too.
It’s not healthy.
I have to learn to be my own validation. To be kind to myself. To be compassionate to myself. To be supportive of myself. To encourage myself. To believe in myself. Kind words from other people will never have the kind of power that would come from genuinely loving myself.