Much to my delight, I found a wordpress app on my android marketplace. I couldn’t have found it at a better time, since I haven’t gotten around to setting up internet service at our house. But because I’m not exactly “short winded” and typing long messages on my phone isn’t something I enjoy, I’ve got a long list of blogs waiting in the wings for when I do get the internet up and running. They include: “Our First DIY Project: How Not to Stain a Fence”, something about our experience at the country meat market, and a commentary on “the pill’s” 50th birthday. I know you’re as anxious to read said entries as I am to write them. In the meantime I’ll have to settle for quick little entries from my fabulous app on my phone. It’s a good thing too. I think I was starting to have withdrawals from blogging. Somehow it’s become one of my favorite indoor hobbies.
I would just like to take a minute to publicly acknowledge and praise my husband for not having a video game addiction. Thank you, Josh, not only for having a life that doesn’t revolve around the tv or computer screen, but also for valuing me and the boys enough to choose to spend your leisure time engaged with us and not merely sitting in the same room with us while you give your full attention to some race or battle or whatever else those games entail. I’m really being serious about this too.
To hear other women talk about how their husbands neglect them and their kids in favor of whatever kind of virtual reality yanks their chain just makes me sad. I’ve even heard women complain about sexually propositioning their husbands only to be turned down or at least put on hold until after the level is completed, the enemy defeated or some other “goal”. I can’t fathom that. It’s little things like this that I don’t even think to be grateful about until I hear other women talking about their situations. I can’t imagine how it must feel to be continually rejected and neglected in favor of more screen time.
I hardly see josh as it is. I assume most people live the same way. Very few couples work together or both work from home, so their time together is limited to evenings and weekends or whatever is left after work. I can’t imagine how I would feel if Josh came home from work, ate dinner, and promptly plopped himself in front of the tv or computer for the remainder of the evening. In fact, if that’s how we lived, I’d probably just go out or something after dinner. Seriously, if he’s not going to spend time with you, find someone who will. (Just to clarify, I mean your girlfriends…I’m definitely not endorsing or suggesting an affair!)
I just have to wonder what’s the deal with these guys? Most of them haven’t even been married for that long. How can they possibly be so selfish or so bored with their wives or take them for granted to such an extreme that they ignore her night after night after night?
Then, after spending the whole evening glued to the screen, hardly even aware that he has a wife, he propositions her and wonders why she’s not in the mood. Women need emotional intimacy even more than physical intimacy. I just can’t imagine how these marriages are going to make it in the long run when they lack basic communication skills and the emotional intimacy that women need.
Maybe there are wives who don’t care about their husbands’ video game addictions, but I don’t know any of them. If I did I think I’d have to ask why she doesn’t mind and why she doesn’t want to spend more time with him. It just doesn’t seem healthy.
I know how dramatically our marriage changed for the better when we got rid of the tv. I can’t imagine how much more of a change is possible for couples who not only have tv and dvds interfering in their relationship but also video games.
Life is exhausting. As a result, we found ourselves stuck in a rut of just turning on the tv in the evening and sitting together, completely worn out until bedtime. That’s not the kind of marriage I envisioned. And that’s not the kind of marriage that will carry us happily to the 50 year mark and well beyond. I think we’re on a much better track now.
Just for the record, I’m not demonizing the tv. I think tv is perfectly fine in moderation and for sporting events and other special events. I’m just saying that I don’t want it in the middle of my marriage. Nor am I willing to wait until whatever show is over to spend quality time with my hubby or have the excuse that I’m just too tired and at least we’re spending time together, even if there’s no quality to it.
You can only take something for granted for so long before you start witnessing some kind of ill effects. That’s not a gamble I’m willing to take with my marriage and I’m so very grateful to my amazing husband that he’s not either.
As I was laying awake in bed last night, I found myself pondering the reasons I’ll never “make it” in the blogging world. I was amused by my little epiphany, so in case you’ve mistakenly overestimated my potential, let me fill you in.
1. My blog doesn’t have a general topic of interest. Two of my favorite blogs to visit are about something, Conversion Diary and Young House Love. While visiting these blogs, I’ve fallen in love with the writing or perhaps the writers and thus the blog. What are these topics that keep me coming back for more? Conversion Diary is the story of a former atheist who found herself searching for meaning in her life. The blog documents her journey and she continues updating it regularly. Young House Love is about a young newlywed couple and all of their amazing home renovation projects. In both instances what originally hooked me? The topic. I don’t have one of those. I write about whatever is on my mind in no particular order. Reason number one I’ll never find fame and fortune as a blogger: I don’t have a topic or even the slightest desire to commit to a single topic. I’m just more well-rounded than that. ;)
2. I’m nobody special. Well, of course I’m special, but I’m not someone who is well-known. Patrick Madrid’s blog comes to mind. His blog is random like mine, no general topic or theme. So why do people visit his blog? Because it’s his. People have read his books or heard him speak. They’re so sold on the guy that they’ll visit his blog to see what he has to say, regardless of the topic. Reason number two I’m not destined to have a world-famous blog: because I’m just me. Despite being a hero to my kiddos, most people don’t revere me, let alone know who I am. Thus, at present, I can’t draw readers simply because I’m awesome.
3. My life isn’t extraordinary. Some moms have been known to start a blog just to keep friends and family updated on daily happenings. Mom reasons she can write story after story about her little gems, her misadventures as a mom, and whatever else is relevant to her family without boring people to tears or clogging up their inboxes. She writes until her heart’s content, but family and friends only have to read as much as they want and only when they’re interested.
Somehow, whether it’s because this mom’s life is a step above the majority’s or perhaps she just has a knack for writing about it like it is, she starts drawing more and more readers and eventually sponsors. Before she knows it, her little blogging hobby has become a career. So why can’t I stumble into success? Well, I suppose I could, but these moms started writing to their family and friends. I doubt my family and friends even know I have a blog, much less read it. I write to no one or some days many anonymous someones. They come to read a specific entry, but their love for me or my kids won’t bring them back for more. Reason number three advertisers won’t be begging to pay me to keep on doing what I’m doing: I don’t have a loyal (or guilt-ridden, as the case may be) fan base to launch me into notoriety.
The good news is I didn’t start my blog to make money or gain recognition. I write my little blog as a sounding board. When lacking other adults to share my prodigious insights with or simply feeling as if making my message public could make a difference, I have a venue to give voice to my thoughts. I find this invaluable. One can only call her girlfriends so many times before they start asking, “Is Josh working 16 hours again today?” Busted. “Well, yeah he is, but I really just wanted to see what you’re up to, Jenny.” She knows better. She knows I’m bored or have a thought that’s a little above my four-year-old’s comprehension level.
Joking aside, how does one determine success? By setting goals. My goal was to have a virtual sounding board, to have a spot where I could selfishly go on and on and not have to ask about little Adam’s potty training. That’s what I have here. A returning, captive audience was never my goal. Obtaining that would indeed be some kind of success in its own right, but lacking that definitely does not mean I’m lacking success. I’m successful in that I’ve achieved exactly what I set out to achieve, and I enjoy every keystroke.